Everyone has sexual fantasies that they love to think about or act out. Here are a few of mine 😀 .
Sex in Public
Hot nasty sex in a public place has long been a popular fantasy of mine, thinking about it is such a turn-on!! Sex in dark alleys, public bathrooms, and movie theaters are common choices. The thrill of getting caught or being on display for any unsuspecting passerby is high on the list of those looking to spice up their bedroom.
But, there's a big caveat here. While getting busy in the park might seem fun, it could also result in arrest and putting some unconsenting adults and children in clear view of your berries and cream. I suggest trying to attain that same thrill on a private rooftop or with the windows open. You can also enjoy a bit of this thrill by planning a little getaway with playful friends. Rent a house and find places around to get caught. Who knows, maybe your friends will join in.
Anal Sex
Anal sex will always be one of my top fantasies. I love how I look bending over and having my ass fucked and worshipped.
Anal sex just straight-up feels good for many folks, it also comes with a whole host of cultural taboos that add to its forbidden hotness. It’s “dirty,” something only “bad girls” do. You don’t have to ascribe to these shame-y, outdated judgments in your day-to-day life to be able to enjoy some of that element in your fantasy life.
If you're new to trying anal, relaxation, communication, and plenty of lube are key. My favorite lube for ass sex is Coconut oil.
Gangbangs/Multiple Partners
Threesomes, foursomes, gangbangs, whatever you wanna call them, they put a novel spin on sex, which might explain why 57% of women have fantasized about these ambitious trysts. They might go better in fantasy than in reality, however. In fantasies, for example, no one ever has to feel left out or confused about what they’re supposed to be doing—but if a group-sex fantasy piques your interest, it might be worth pursuing IRL too.
If a threesome is of interest, consider whether you'd like to be romantically involved with one or both of the other partners or an unattached guest star. As with all sexual fantasies, acting this one out requires continuous communication and enthusiastic consent. If group sex has you feeling hot and bothered, search for an “ethical sex dungeon” in your area or inquire at a local sex positive sex shop.
Sensual Massage
“Happy ending” massages are a popular search term on porn sites, especially for women. It may be that the relaxation and slow, calming movements prep your body and mind for heights of arousal. Stress can physiologically inhibit pleasure and orgasm in women, ex researcher Emily Nagoski notes in her book Come As You Are, so it makes sense that a relaxing activity that ends in climax would be high on many women's fantasy lists.
To explore this fantasy, break out the massage candle and ask your partner for a rub down.
Sex With a Stranger
A common fantasy is sudden sex with strangers, on a bus, in a library, etc. by someone unexpected. This is very extremely hot to me and a lot of people because so much about desire and sex involve spontaneity and a bit of the forbidden.
It's easy to see why this is a common one: it's potentially hot to think that someone would be so drawn to you without knowing you at all. You can safely explore this fantasy at ethical, consenting sex parties. And when you’re done, you can throw your clothes back on and peace out. Easy-peasy.
Oral Sex
Both giving and receiving oral sex came up as a top fantasy in one study. While oral isn’t exactly “out there,” it can be imbued with a kinky dynamic that sets it apart from activities traditionally understood to be mutually pleasurable, like penis-in-vagina sex.
You might sometimes view giving oral sex as a submissive service, for example, or a dominant act of taking what’s yours. Meanwhile, receiving oral might make you feel like a pampered queen in her throne or thoroughly ravaged. However you frame it, it’s clear that tons of people find oral sex hot as hell.
Bondage
From impromptu tools, like neckties, to more intense bondage scenarios involving rope, cuffs, or under-the-bed restraints, the thought of being restrained (or restraining someone else) is incredibly hot to many folks. Being unable to move makes you helpless to a partner’s advances, whether those involve pleasure, pain, or a little of both.
Do your research on this one before acting it out, though. There are a lot of ways bondage can go wrong and can even be dangerous. Open communication with a trusted partner is key, as is establishing a safe word.
Being Dominated
Fifty Shades of Grey normalized kinks and fetishes more widely than ever before; one study found 65% of people who identify as women crave being dominated. “The act of not being in control or pushed (consensually) against your will is a big part of the Dom/Sub relationship,” says Daniel Saynt, founder of The New Society for Wellness (NSFW), a private members club hosting regular workshops and events for safely exploring open love, kink, and sexuality.
There’s a wide palette of fantasy scenarios to draw from here: You can picture something as subtle as a trusted partner holding you down by the wrists while they kiss you, all the way up to extreme BDSM involving pain, humiliation, or whatever else your kinky heart desires.
Dominating Someone
Fantasies of being in control in the bedroom are also quite common—47% of people who identify as women admit to having had this fantasy. It can be incredibly hot to call the shots during sex, especially in a culture that systematically tries to strip minority groups of our power both in and out of the bedroom.
To try this one, the same rules as above apply: discuss the scene with your partner, establish boundaries and a safe word, and keep intoxicants like alcohol at a minimum.
Infidelity
You can be perfectly happy with your partner and still find something electrically exciting about the idea of cheating on them. It could be the danger of getting caught that draws you in, the freshness of a new sexual connection, or something else entirely.
“We are excited by the unknown, about losing control, and allowing a new and surprising experience to unfold,” says Anne Louise Burdett, a certified sex educator and CEO of TOCA, an organic CBD line of intimacy lubricants. Because it is such a common fantasy, you can ask your partner to play along. You can partake safely in asking a lover or a partner to pretend to be a stranger, or you can simply fantasize. Sometimes the fantasy is hotter than the reality.
Exhibitionism
Showing off can be incredibly sexy, especially if the person watching you is as excited about your bod as they ought to be. Maybe you fantasize about stripping for a partner, performing in a porn flick, or masturbating for an agog audience. And why not? It’s hot to feel hot.
Just make sure that if your foray into exhibitionism involves going digital, you practice safe sexting.
Voyeurism
Watching other people get it on can be a massive turn-on as well. Maybe you imagine peeking at a couple getting intimate in a fitting room at the mall, sitting in as an anonymous tipper in an online cam show, or watching a boundary-pushing BDSM scene at a dungeon. There are many possibilities for (consentual) spectating.
Role-Play
Everyone wants to know what it feels like to be someone else, or to live a different life, and often it’s easy to imagine that others have hotter sex, a more luxurious or passionate love life, or more fun. Desiring to shift into playful roles in the bedroom does not mean you are unsatisfied with your life. If you struggle to let your inner sex goddess loose, sometimes imagining yourself in a specific role can help. Does a nurse-and-patient fantasy get your gears turning? How about boss and secretary? Parent and college babysitter? The possibilities are almost endless.
Check in with whomever else you want to engage in role-playing with and make some agreements. Then explore all you want with what kind of person you can be, what kind of sex you like, and how you want your sensual experiences to unfold. You can also do this on your own.
Cosplay
Similar to role-play, is cosplay, which involves dressing up in a specific costume. Allowing yourself to disappear into another person or character, as Burdett points out, is letting your imagination take you to faraway places and costumes really help do this. Whether you go supernatural (Catwoman? Wonder Woman?) or slightly more down-to-earth (Dana Scully? Lara Croft?), you might feel foxier in a borrowed persona.
Romantic Sex
This can mean different things to different people. Maybe your idea of romance is rose petals, Champagne, and staring into each other’s eyes—or maybe it’s a partner knowing exactly how to dominate you and exactly what names to call you in bed. Whatever the manifestation, it’s lovely to imagine having a deep emotional connection with the person you’re having sex with.
If you want more of this in your IRL sex life, start by talking to your partner. Going through an exercise that builds emotional intimacy on your next date night can help foster romantic, connected sex.
Gender Swap
Gender roles in the bedroom have long been subjected to heteronormative restrictions which make any straying away lead to judgements on sexuality or orientation. There are many who want to mix things up a bit and try a little gender role reversal in the bedroom. Start by picking up some lingerie for your partner or throw on a pair of their boxers and a strap. Get creative and explore outside the box you believe you need to stay in.
Thats just a few of my favorite sexual fanasties, hope you enjoyed them 😘
